One year ago today...

...we had an ultrasound that would change our lives forever. One year ago our lives were flipped upside down with the news that something was wrong with our unborn child. One year ago we found out that we were having a little boy.

That day still stands out in my mind as one of the worst days of my life. Tim and I both took off of work and had the plan of going to the ultrasound to find out what we were having, then going to lunch and to register at Babies-R-Us. Boy was that plan shot to hell and back. Once we heard the news, we drove home with without saying a word, just tears. We got home and then everyone started to call to hear whether the new addition was a boy or girl. Talk about the hardest thing in the world to tell people. If I recall correctly, it went something like this, "Well we're having a boy, but..." I think Tim and I told that same story 10 times that day. I finally got to the point were we told people to call our parents. I then sent out an email to inform the remaining family and friends.

The two weeks that followed January 28, 2008 were full of tears, doctors visits, tests, ultrasounds, 4 amniocenteses, an MRI, meetings with the medical team, decisions that no one should ever have to make, a physical, blood work and a major surgery that could change the outcome for our little boy. A lot of people would say that it was the hardest decision that they've ever had to make. To be honest, it was the easiest. When we were asked what we would like to do, I didn't even ask Tim. I just said let's do it. Thankfully, Tim agreed :o) Why would we allow our son to die if there was the possibility of saving his life. We had no idea what the outcome was going to be, but we were willing to face the worst if we had to, but we HAD to try. The doctors told us that the baby may not make it out of the surgery. If that were the case they would have delivered him and let us see him after surgery to say our goodbyes. As scary as it was to hear that, we didn't let it stop us.

A little over 2 weeks later, on February 13th, I underwent a surgery that has only taken place twice before in Cincinnati (I was the 3rd) and about 6 times nationwide. Surprisingly, I was relatively calm. I was more nervous about the IV than the surgery itself. After waiting a couple of ours I was wheeled to a holding room where I was given a sedative to keep me calm once I was in the OR. Everything was a blur once I got that. I remember kissing Tim and saying goodbye to both sets of our parents. I was then wheeled into the OR. I remember switching over to the table and leaning on a nurse to have my epidural put in. The room was spinning and I heard a lot of voices. I was then told that they were going to give me some oxygen. Well let's just say that that oxygen had something in it, because I don't remember anything after the nurse told me that. 4 hours later, I woke up in the recovery room with the nurses telling me that the baby's feet are very cute. I asked if everything went well and they said yes. Tim then came back to see me along with my mom a few minutes later. I then went back to my room and don't remember much until about 2 days later. I had an epidural, a catheter, was on magnesium, had a morphine pump, and was on several more meds that I don't remember. The only thing that I remember is that I was extremely hot and thirsty and they wouldn't give me anything but ice chips. For 2 days, I think, they wouldn't give me anything to drink and I was so hot and dry from that dang magnesium. I am convinced that the devil created that drug. Anyway, I finally got my sprite and water and I was very happy after that.

5 days later I went home to spend the remainder of my pregnancy on bedrest. It was then that we announced that our little boy, the boy who fought so hard to be alive was going to be named Max. A name that means "the greatest." Max is the greatest thing that has ever happened to us. It's hard to believe that it has been a year since we found out about his condition. Not knowing that we would be where we are today, we made a decision that put myself and our unborn child at risk, but not once have we ever looked back. We knew that if he survived we would be in it for the long haul. We knew before we made that life changing decision that he had kidney failure and would most likely end up on dialysis awaiting a kidney transplant. We knew he would be in the hospital for awhile (not quite 6 months though). We have had several unexpected surprises along the way, but we have never looked back.

My marriage to Tim has grown stronger than I ever thought possible. I truly believe that Max will be a much stronger man because of what he has gone through in his life. All of this happened for a reason and we have taken it head on and if you ask me, we have done one hell of a job.

Although I spend 3 days a week (Tim does the forth) at the hospital, I enjoy my time there with Max. We make the most of what we can while we are there. This is our life and to us it's the best life. We have learned a great deal about each other and about ourselves throughout this journey. We look forward to learning a lot more as our life progresses with our son, Max. "The greatest" decision that we have ever made.